The first part of 1800's, came to be known as the romantic period in history.  Movies set in that period usually involve magnificent gardens, men on horses, long dresses and no one seems to have to do the laundry. Invariably there is some shocking mismatch between the lovers. Like a royal princess who falls in love with the poor coal merchant or tenant farmer.  One day in her bored "locked down" life, she is looking out her window and sees the coal delivery boy in the yard below.  As their eyes meet, they know in their souls that they are destined to be together.  The woman knows that no matter how much a scoundrel or mismatched he is, he would be a perfect husband. Until he wasn't!

This idea of the "Soulmate" continues its unhelpful reach even today. Popular thinking suggests that when eyes meet across the room, and there is an instant connection, they have found their soulmate.  The only person in the whole world who can complete you, who will remove all traces of insecurity and loneliness from your soul, and who completely understands you. So well in fact that communication isn't really necessary.  But, of course, that’s rubbish. I still don’t fully understand Anneke, and we need to talk a lot just to keep things straight.
For centuries before the romantic period, people used more pragmatic and helpful criteria for finding a spouse: Do they have a similar background or culture, shared values, alignment on matters of faith, marriage, raising children, work, and perhaps even politics? Ever since humans began reading the Bible, they understood that everyone—yes, even that beautiful soulmate whose eyes you caught across the mall—is a selfish and broken sinner. The image of God in people, while magnificent, is tragically broken and therefore living with others will be challenging.

 Sometimes we think there is a “Soulmate Church” for us too. It will be welcoming, understanding, accepting of us and possibly sinless.  But no, the church is full of sinners, and we are all still learning how to love. We grow best by being surrounded by imperfect people.  So instead of seeking a church that is just perfect for us, that understands our needs before we even communicate them, just find one that loves Jesus passionately, believes the Bible, is unaffected by woke liberal thinking, has places where you can serve others and join the family!  As you show up, store up, pray up, pay up, and stay there among all the rest of us sinners we will learn to grow up together.

Of course, only Jesus can be our perfect “Soulmate”.   He saw us from “above” and although we are truly mismatched, He completely understands us. Beyond reason, He still loves us with our imperfections and offers a royal proposal to share His estate and live with Him forever.