Insecure
The success of others can often be our greatest test. As David became popular and honoured by the people, Saul began to eye David with fear and jealousy.
“Now it had happened as they were coming home, when David was returning from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women had come out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy, and with musical instruments. So the women sang as they danced, and said: “Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands.” Then Saul was very angry, and the saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed only thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?” So Saul eyed David from that day forward. And it happened on the next day that the distressing spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied inside the house. So David played music with his hand, as at other times; but there was a spear in Saul’s hand” ( 1Samuel 18:6-10).
An evil spirit came upon Saul from that day forth and the anointing of God began to lift. Security means an inner strength inside your heart that acts as a fortress against the need to find popularity, position, recognition from men or women, or to have the things that the world says is important.
Insecure people don’t have that inner strength in their soul so they feel uncertain, vulnerable and defensive inside. And so they feel a need to be recognized and promoted. They need the type of people around them that will help them feel good about themselves. Insecurity leads to codependence or independence; you either need people badly to make you feel good or you reject people out of your life, so you can continue to feel okay. Insecure people don’t want anybody to correct critique them or speak into their life.
We see insecurity in the life of Saul. His insecurity shows up in fear of the people’s reactions. His insecurity showed up in independence; he never asked for advice or listened to the words of those around him. He got used to having his own way and exercising power. He couldn’t admit he made a mistake and obviously was threatened by others who are popular or gifted.
Friend, all this ends up in jealousy, envy and some sort of assassination be it literal or character assassination. We cannot give in to insecurity and expect the anointing to increase on our life. Instead lets find our security in our calling and our relationship with our Father and rejoice in His plans for us and others.