Father wounds
Our natural father’s input into our life is incredibly important. Councillors are clear that there is such a thing as a father wound. Our soul registers rejection - whether it is intentional when they walked out and left home, or just neglect. They were physically there but they are not emotionally there or there was seldom any meaningful communication. It is hard to find men who can remember their father saying “I love you” or one that was hugged by his Dad on a consistent basis growing up.
My Dad, like many, wasn't very verbal but I remember his hugs and he did write me a letter which I treasure. Those who had passive fathers can be left wondering "do I matter” and when people fail to have the affirmation and the love they should have had from parents, there is an aching void in their soul.
Sometimes they become vulnerable to looking for the love and affection in all the wrong places. Like the women at the well, her real need was spiritual. Jesus sees this woman as thirsty not dirty!
Sometimes stimulants, like booze makes them feel free, for it medicates their pain. Addictions happen often because of alcohol, sex, romance, food, drugs numb the shame or pain. It is often the only time they feel good about themselves.
Friend, Let God heal your heart. His love is the most transforming power in the universe and He loves you! He will never leave you and you belong to Him forever.