Marriage Expectations
Sometimes we get into season in life where intimacy seems to go from our marriages. Usually, there has been a conflict which is not fully resolved. The couple says they have forgiven but really they have withdrawn their heart from their spouse. Their heart is not fully given to their spouse as it was on their honeymoon.
We are designed and marriage is designed to give our heart away 100 per cent to another person. Withdrawing of the heart is actually hardening of the heart toward someone you supposed to love? Sometimes offence occurs because expectations are not met, so you harden your heart to protect yourself from further hurt. We find we are less able to trust them and we build a protective barrier around the heart.
Soon after the heart doesn’t work emotionally like it used to; the same words the same environments don’t make the heart feel the same as before.
To feel intimacy and connection once again, you have to unconditionally give your heart back to your husband or wife. That may be scary but the alternative is to stay in the prison you’re in.
Friend, if that sounds like you today, confess that you have taken back part of my heart from your spouse and declare that you will not make them fulfil your list of requirements before you give them your heart. Choose to give them 100 per cent of your heart from this day forward and thank God for restoring intimacy in your marriage.
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Just the way you are
You are the handiwork of God. God doesn’t make any junk. Some of you probably think “If I had someone else’s personality and looks I’d be happy with how I am.
In the US they took a survey amongst 100s of bright and good looking kids from well adjusted Christian families and 95% said there were things they didn’t like about themselves and if they could, they would wave a wand and change things about their life.
In a troubled home, where there has been abuse and pain, it’s hard to think it could be the handy work of God, and the abuse isn’t! Not every bad thing that happens to us in life is from the hand of God. God does not cause it, nor does He plan it or want it to happen, but God will show His love and healing kindness in the midst of our pain.
The whole world is built upon the system of comparison but a comparison of yourself with others is not wise. We can’t all sing like Celine Dion but God didn’t want you to or He would have made you like that.
Friend, if you concentrate on what you don’t have and what you are not rather than on what you are and what you have, you miss out on Gods call and potential of the unique gifting He has put in your life.
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Still small voice
So God says go out, get out of the cave. Go stand on the mountain before me. Stand outside the mountain with your back to the cave. Turn your back on all the things that are in your cave. The death, the troubles, the debt, the persecution the lack of fruitfulness and failed expectations. Turn you back on them and stand before the Lord. The Word of the Lord to us is not just for the supernatural, the spectacular the public and the impersonal. But it is also in the private, the personal the still, the small and the painful. Sometimes past experiences of hearing the word of the Lord lead us to think that God will speak to me this way because that is the way it has happened before. Elijah wasn’t just delivering a message he was the message. And the changes in his life kept him dependent upon God; in his sweet spot of dependence upon Him. In constant prayer and dependence upon the word of the Lord.
Friends, you are not preparing a message to give on Sundays but God is preparing a message in you. You are not giving a message. You are the message.
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Self acceptance
How many people look in the mirror and say “You are awesome¸ you look so cool.” How many of us ever look in the mirror and say “I wish I didn’t have such small eyes, or I wish I wasn’t so tall.”
It may seem strange but many young people find it hard to dedicate her life to God because of how they look or the circumstances in which they were bought up. They think if God really loved them surely would have made him look like Cindy Crawford or Mal Gibson.
They reason. “If God didn’t make sure I was brought up in a perfectly loving and holy family, surely he can’t be as wise or kind as we think. Some people think that God made them on Friday afternoon, hurrying to get finished for the weekend! But there is no Miss universe or perfect man in the Bible. God has no pattern person as far as looks go. This is an invention of commercialism who want you to buy the products that they say can make you gain a perfect skin, body or look in life.
The only pattern or standard God give us in the Bible is for character and that picture is Jesus. Self acceptance is accepting that how God made you to look, the personality you have the back ground you came from is absolutely perfect for you. Not perfect but perfect for you!
Friend, God’s plan is that we come though life and become as much like Jesus Christ as possible even if it means that sometimes we have to face difficult situations and people.
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Where are you?
The sun was setting casting long shadows over the rocky hills around him but Elijah never noticed its beauty, as he poured out his heart in the quiet evening to God. He said “They have forsaken your altar your covenants!” but he meant God, you didn’t do anything, I’m doing my part but you don’t seem to be doing yours. This is your problem God. I can’t bring the whole nation back, so you should do something. Your God after all!” Elijah felt alone and unsupported. “What your asking Lord is just too hard!” He felt persecuted “This could cost me my life and I deserve better.” He was angry and disappointed at God. It was in his voice. Out of his mouth came the evidence of his heart condition. Elijah had let his expectations of God and his expectation of people, harden his heart toward God. He had taken offense at God. Elijah was asking questions of God and God was asking question of Elijah. They were just missing each other.
Friend when we take offense at God it hard to hear his voice It won’t be in the earth quake or the thunder storm. God may get our attention with something dramatic but only to tune us to His voice again
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Its Past
The problem with the past is that it is exactly that; the past.
If you live in the past, you will only ever be what you were; a failure, a drunk, an abuser, hopeless or depressive. You can’t change your past you can only change your future. The only place you can make things to be different is the future. The only place you can meet with God is in the future starting right now.
You can even be captive to a good past. Some people and some companies are bound to the success of the past and it limits them. They think it was the best year; no year could be better.
Some of you have had dreams not yet fulfilled but dreams only come to pass in the future. If you thinking about something that has already happened it’s a memory. It may be great memory but its fading fast and you can’t change memories whether they are good or sad. You can sit at the feet of a memorial stone but it can’t help you.
You can’t undo the sad and painful events of your life but God can totally remove the guilt and shame of every mistake you made. God is able to change the meaning of the past. Somehow God has used the past to bring us the place where we were ready for Him and that is worth any price.
Friend, He can’t change what happened but he does change the result of what happened and He changes it for good.
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