Often time’s, angry people come from angry families because we learn from them. I never actually thought I got angry but my wife says I do and I'm a ‘stuffer’. I stuffed my anger because my father stuffed his anger.
In an angry family, nobody listens. They think anger is the only way to get anyone to do want they want, so they use anger to make the kids behave; to stop the wife from spending money, to stop the husband from watching too much TV and they might even try to potty train a baby with a bit of anger!
Mostly we get angry because we don’t get what we want. Naaman was angry because the prophet didn’t do what he expected or what he wanted. 2 Samuel 5. 11. Ahab got angry because the guy next to his palace wouldn’t sell his little vineyard to him. Esau didn’t get his blessing and got mad enough to kill. Gen 27. It was a tantrum! That’s the bottom line. Our flesh “can’t get what it wants” Roman 6.2. We get angry if we can’t control people and make them do what we want for us. It's ugly and nearly all the works of the flesh are about controlling others. Now the actions of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, promiscuity, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, rivalry, jealously, outbursts of anger, quarrels, conflicts, factions, Gal 5:19
Balaam couldn’t even get his donkey to do that he wanted so he was going to kill it. Num22. When we throw a tantrum its usually a blowing up type of anger (GK.Thumos), where we might yell at people or tear a strip off them. But there is also stored anger (GK"orge") which is frozen anger. Disappointment in a person is frozen anger. We tend to become depressed or angry when our expectations are not met. We go on strike and don’t offer to help. We might withdraw our affection. Refuse to have sex. We let somebody do the work by themselves or give them a cold shoulder.
Friend, both are anger and both are destructive of your health, marriage and family. Is it time to yield your heart to God again and not try to control everyone around you?